The Path 

I’m finally to a point where everything I’m doing is what I wanted to do last year. The blog, the podcast, and finally having a job in the media/film industry. I’m only in the beginning of my career but I’m so proud of how far I’ve come. But that doesn’t mean I don’t still go through phases of feeling like It’s not enough. Like I’m not doing enough. 

It’s not as bad as it was when I had no idea what I wanted to do in life, but it still creeps in. The stress the pressure. I just want to fast forward to when I’ve built a brand and network that doesn’t have an agenda, That promotes content that educates, uplifts and supports all people. To when I own property and have a family. At sometimes I overwhelm myself with thoughts of not being close enough to that. 

I have to remind myself just how far I’ve come. I started out lost with nothing but a dream and now things are starting to take off in the right direction. 

“If there’s no struggle there’s no progress.”       

                    -Frederick  Douglass

Sometimes on the path we get so caught up with rushing to our destination, that we forget to enjoy the journey. We forget to pat ourselves on the back for every little accomplishment. We forget that it is those little things that move us closer to our final goal.  

 Setting a goal and achieving it is huge! No matter how short term or small it seems it is an accomplishment. And if you can’t be proud and give yourself praise who will? 

Having big dreams or goals, can cause you to feel stress and anxiety. Constantly feeling like you aren’t doing enough. It’s that way of thinking that propels you forward but it can also get you down and make you feel discouraged. There are ways to keep up your motivation, but not beat yourself down. Encouraging and uplifting yourself can be just as effective and way less destructive than constantly telling yourself you haven’t done enough. 
Instead of saying “Yeah that was cool but that’s not enough” try “Yasss! We crushed that goal now we are on to the next. Even small progress is progress!” 
It’s okay to celebrate an achievement. It’s okay to marvel at how far we’ve come. Just because we still have a long way to go doesn’t mean we have to delay feelings of joy and enjoying the life we have right now. 

You’ve come a long way. That’s why you should be proud. That’s why you should keep going. You got this. The hard part was finding the path now all you have to do is follow it. It will take you down it will take you up, but in the end it will lead you to the life you’ve always wanted. 

 

With love, 

Tasha B. 

Advertisements

What Does the BLM Movement Mean?

 power

This week it was difficult to go to work. Being 1 of 3 Black people at my job, I felt tension. I wanted there to be dialogue about what’s been happening with Black and minority lives but it gets weird when someone doesn’t understand you or doesn’t seem to want to.

So imagine my excitement/surprise when my non-black coworker asked me yesterday, “What does the Black Lives Matter Movement mean?”  He said he’s not sure whether to support it or not because there have been different theories on his timeline to what it truly is. 

I broke it down to him like this:

1) In order for “all lives matter” to be a true statement, Black lives need to be proven to matter within the justice system, within society, and within our own communities.  It is not going against or bullying other races to make them feel left out. The movement needs people outside of the Black race to support and ASK Questions because it is not just a Black struggle…it is a world struggle!

2) I know people who claim they are for the BLM movement but say they want to kill cops, hate other groups of people, or don’t want any others involved in the movement.  Those people are not grasping what the movement is really about.  Individuals who say things like that are hurting and have been traumatized by what systemic conditioning/oppression has done to them and their families.  They are speaking from anger, pain, and confusion.  Their feelings are valid, yet misplaced and unfortunately, the media chooses to give interviews to those hurt extremists instead of allowing a clear headed leader to represent the movement. Many will use Malcolm X and his calls for militant action as an example of how to approach the situation, but they forget Malcolm X went on a Hajj (pilgrimage to Mecca) that changed his life and his perspective on violent retaliation.  When he came back from his pilgrimage, he spread the word of love to bring peace:

“The true brotherhood I had seen (in Saudi Arabia) had influenced me to recognize that anger can blind human vision.”    – Malcolm X

3) Racism isn’t just in America or just toward Blacks.  If BLM gets recognition, the benefits will affect other minority groups around the world as well; Just as the Civil Rights Movement affected Latino rights, Women’s rights, Indigenous People’s rights and more.  If we remain silent and numb to the injustices to the Black community, the rights of all citizens will continue to be picked off.   After the Black community is exterminated, which group is next?

4) Supporting the Black Lives Matter movement doesn’t mean you’re against all cops.  We respect police officers who are willing to have an open, honest conversation with the people and hold their own coworkers accountable for wrong doings.  The police officers involved in senseless killings and brutality of citizens need to see consequences just like we would see.  There are definitely good cops but if they see misconduct or any negative interaction initiated by their fellow officer and don’t speak on it, they are just as guilty.  We need the good cops in police forces to be at the forefront of this revolution.  “Blue Lives” clock in and choose if they want to wear the badge or not.  Black lives are black 24/7 and are targeted regardless of their circumstances. 

5) Don’t be fooled by media. Do your research. Ask clarifying questions!

Spreading the word, planting the seed, and helping one another understand is what it’s all about.  Only love and a strong sense of self can get us through this.  After explaining, my coworker told me, “I haven’t had a clear understanding since this began so I just want to thank you for taking the time.”  I responded, “No, thank you for taking an interest.”

Vibrate Higher. Peace.

Tay

Be sure to check out “Don’t Miss Your Train” on SoundCloud by Chenelle McCoy:

How Did I Get So Numb?!

tayntash18

“Remembering is good if you don’t let it be the fear in you.”

-Erykah Badu

A few days ago, a group of Neo-Nazi’s rallied together in front of our State Capitol in Sacramento, CA.  A riot broke out between the counter protestors (Antifas) and the Nationalist Party members, leaving 10 critically injured and shutting down the rally altogether.

This happened 7 minutes away from my house.

Now, I definitely believe in fighting the power but I never thought about literally fighting hateful forces. I never thought I would see the same types of fist to fist rioting as my grandparents did in the 40s, 50s, and 60s. I never thought I’d know people who are afraid to leave their houses because of the constant reports of mass violence. Those thoughts scared me for a moment but then I felt numb; almost to a point of wanting to brush it off and quickly change topics because I didn’t want to feel my fear. But I am beginning to realize,

It is ok to be scared…

It is ok to be nervous….

It is ok to be insecure….

It is ok to feel.

The emotions and pain we feel are real so we cannot stop them from happening, but we can control what we do to work through them.

That numbness we feel after hearing about mass casualty incidents–like the one at our State Capitol–only comes because we feel we are powerless to help the situation.  There are constantly multiple stories of death, torture and injustice down our timelines making it difficult to feel brave, prepared or that our impact matters. Plus, we get pumped with all of this information 24/7 via FB, IG, Twitter, etc. All of the graphic videos we see desensitizes us to the fact that those statistical numbers represent actual people with lives and families. So much so, that when an actual emergency is happening, we hardly react to it as an emergency. I haven’t even heard many people talk about what happened at the Capitol and when I do, they brush it off like “Well, it’s over now so (insert dismissive comment here)”.

But it is ok to feel emotions for these people and for ourselves.

We have to fight that numbness by allowing ourselves to feel the weight of the situation and use breathing techniques, meditated thought, and collective action to work toward a solution. Whether it be taking steps to create a peace coalition, mentoring students within our communities, or keeping our money local to stop the funding of corrupted corporations.

“Forget all the reasons why it won’t work and believe the one reason it will”

-Anonymous (Some disciplined, optimistic genius)

We are human beings…we were meant to have an amazing array of emotions and feelings that, at times, can’t be described with words. We are powerful beyond belief…we just need to believe it.

Vibrate Higher. Peace.

Tay.

 

 

Just thinking…

The recent shooting in Orlando, Fl really saddened and confused me. I mean this guy shoots up a Gay club, senselessly killing who ever he can, then it later comes out he was gay himself and had been to the club before. It got me thinking, he was most likley someone that wasn’t accepted and loved for who he truly was. So he decided to take it out on people who seem to be loved and comfortable with who they are. It’s like some extremely violent and crazy jealousy. This is usually the case with most of the people who commit hateful crimes.  Like the guy in Santa Barabra, CA killing women because he couldn’t get a woman’s attention. Just damaged, loveless and lonely people killing those who have what they don’t.

It just leads me to believe that if everyone was loved, appreciated, supported, and accepted by their family, or friends, or a significant other the world would be a much better place. 

I thank God for the people around me, my family and friends for keeping me from being that lonely. Even my current relationship. It’s different from literally every other relationship I’ve ever been in. It means everything when you have someone who cares enough to not give up on you. Someone who cares enough about you and your relationship enough to want to be better. It makes you want to be better. It gives you the confidence and stregth to do anything. 

I’m glad to have people in my life that I can be comfortable with, to just be myself and be appreciated for that.

If everyone had that type of unconditional, real honest love in their life they’d understand that it makes such a difference. Hate crimes would stop. Maybe people would understand other peoples want to be free to love and be loved. 

Being loved, truly loved, is something all people deserve. It’s obvious to me those who don’t know real love. They’re the ones constantly spreading hate. 
– Tasha B. 

Do what you gotta do so that you can do what you wanna do


I just started this new job and I feel kind of crazy…I am stuck in this zone of not knowing how to feel. It is at a really nice place and all of my coworkers are pretty awesome, but I feel out of place…as if I’m not supposed to be there. I have been working freelance from August 2015 until just recently, so clocking in and working a 9-5 just seems wrong. I want that freedom to create, learn, leave and travel, and make money how I want to. Unfortunately, to do all of those things in the way that I would like (via writing, media journalism, acting) I need at least a little income to support my dreams.
Scrolling on Facebook recently, I saw one of my mentors at Sacramento’s Sol Collective post:
“Do what you gotta do to be where you wanna be.”
It stopped me mid-scroll. It was as if God was reading my mind before I could even fully make it up! I have held about 16 jobs from the ages of 15 to 24 because I do not like staying in a place I am unhappy. Obtaining a job and making money has never been a problem for me…but staying at a job that I am miserable at is something I just can not do. Time is my most valuable asset and I can never get any of my time back, but running across that FB post helped me see how important it is to make those hours working worth my while. If I have to work a job that isn’t remotely close to the field I want to get into, but pays the bills while I try to bust into the industry, then I need to do that!
Doing what needs to be done in order to move to that next step is necessary for me in this moment, so I shouldn’t feel bad for doing it. I still struggle everyday with the doubts of accomplishing my goals and dreams because I don’t want to get distracted by the money I’m making at work. BUT whenever those thoughts sneak in, I remind myself that I LOVE to create and that I do what I do for free…without any promise of a return. And when someone continues to do what they love, the money will follow.
If any of you are in the same boat I’m in right now, KEEP PUSHING! I know we’re going to make it.
Follow your dreams…and get a part-time job if you need to.
Vibrate higher. Peace.
Tay

Fear 

  

Fear: An unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that some one or something is dangerous or is likely to cause pain.

Fear drives us all more than we’d like to admit. It holds us back and forces us to dream smaller and settle for less. Everyone has something they’d like to pursue, maybe a certain career or person, but the fear of failure stops them from going for it. The sooner we realize that feelings of pain, rejection, and failure pass just like joy and happiness the sooner we will be able to let go of this fear. 

When you think about it, it’s actually pretty stupid. Why miss out on potential success and happiness because of what MIGHT go wrong? After being hurt its only natural to not ever want to feel that way again, but if every life decision was made with that mindset is that really living? No. That’s limiting your potential, and living life within your comfort zone. We all know that real growth only happens when we venture outside of what’s safe and comfortable. 

Life is full of risks, some are worth it and some leave you broken, but they all teach a valuable lesson and leave a lasting memory. So explore, get hurt, heal and see just how easy it becomes to deal with outside problems once you solve all of the ones you cause within yourself. 
                                     

                                  Inner peace = peace on earth 

Love, Tasha B. 

Hope

One thing I’ve always told myself, even when I didn’t believe or fully live it, was “keep hope alive.” At times that was the only thing that kept me from spiraling out of control. At my lowest points even when I didn’t know what the hope was for I repeated that mantra. At one point that was the only positive thought I had. Looking back it really reveals just how powerful our thoughts can be. We really can build ourselves up or break and keep ourselves down simply by thinking.

Hope is something our culture is seriously lacking. It feels as if the powers that be do all they can to scare hope out of people and make them feel powerless.

At my lowest point I felt insignificant. I had wasted years worrying about the wrong things and being fooled into thinking that there was nothing I could do to change the way my life was going. I felt that I had missed my chance and that was it. I was stuck and no one could help me but me. It wasn’t until I heard a song by Amy Winehouse called “Help Yourself” that it sunk in. I was the reason I was stuck. I was keeping myself down by thinking negatively about myself. That’s when I realized I had to change the way I was thinking. Once I started telling myself things like I will get better, I am worth the effort, keep hope alive, is when I started to see my life change for the better.

Ever since then I’ve had this feeling that I would bring change, love, positivity and knowledge. There’s one thing about being taken to your lowest point that makes you want to uplift others. I don’t wish self hatred on anyone. It’s pain that’s inescapable and only gets worse as you mentally break yourself down lower and lower. That’s where hope comes in. Even the smallest grain of hope can be the light at the end of the dark tunnel of despair.

 

However, even once you build yourself back up and things are seemingly good hope is still something we need. Not only for ourselves but to spread to others. It’s hope that sparks change, unity and growth. Growth. Something we all should realize that we need. Constant and positive growth. No one’s perfect and we all have things we can improve.

I’m not here to tell you what those things are, that much is up to you. Just think of the person you would want your son or daughter to be, are you the embodiment of that? Whether you have kids or not this is a great way to determine what changes you should make. We all want the best for our kids. When I notice myself self-sabotaging, spreading negativity, or being closed minded I think of my future kids and what I’d say to them if I noticed them behaving that way. Whether it be big, small, career wise or relationship wise we all can be better.
So keep hope alive, keep growing, keep loving and keep living.

 

Love, Tasha B.

The Good heart 


Be transformed through the renewal of your mind.  When you tune into your mind, you edify yourself.

                                                                      ••••••••••

 The end of the year always tends to be about reflection and just like any person in their 20s, I have a lot to reflect on.

In this journey of being 23, I’ve tasted true adulthood. It’s like I’m in this in-between stage of life…too old to watch me “whip” and too young to “love slide.”

But I’m the perfect age to know “Everybody Got Choices.”

I’ve come to realize that everyone does have a choice. A choice to stay in a relationship, a choice to strive for good grades, a choice to take care of a family.

Life is comprised of choices, options, and decisions and what we choose can determine our quality of life. But I feel like this is something everyone knows…something tv shows, memes, and family members constantly remind us of. Well, I’m not here to be another person drilling that into your head. I’m here to tell you that through every choice– good, bad, or crazy– we can still be good people at heart.

Regardless of our physical situations in this world, we all have the power to tap into our inner spirit. Our inner spirit is what drives us to love and feel the frequencies of the world. The inner spirit is who we really are and is more than just these temporary, trivial decisions we are forced to make. Aligning with this piece of yourself not only gives you more confidence in decision making, it allows you to see the pure heart in even the most heinous choices others make.

In my 23rd year of life, I’ve experienced this transition firsthand. My auntie suffered a very tragic loss and it altered our lives forever. We were very close, so her sadness affected me. The devastating loss sent her into depression, caused her to abuse substances, stop speaking to her family, and leave her young daughter to be raised by her grandpa. She abandoned all reason and proclaimed herself dead to those who knew her the most.

I was constantly in emotional pain, thinking, “My auntie is F’d up for what she did…I can’t believe she would leave us and pretend she has no family!” I tormented myself over a choice that was not mine and I resented her for it. It wasn’t until I quieted my mind and took myself out of the situation, that my inner spirit spoke. My deeper self showed me the strength empathy and love could have; With those tools, I forgave my auntie.

Although her actions are hurtful, I know they aren’t who she really is. I can see her pure heart through all the cloudiness of her depression and I hope she can see it too.

Did the pain of the circumstance go away? No, not really.

Does this mean I’ll forget everything that happened and we’ll be BFF’s? Probably not.

BUT choosing to find the goodness in someone’s heart and soul (especially our own), regardless of choices, helps us love to live.

So let’s take that step together!

Let’s LOVE TO LIVE!

 

Vibrate higher. Peace.

 

Tay.

 

 

Preserving you

  
Lately I’ve been feeling a little drained. I haven’t had much time to myself and that really takes a toll on my mood. For me time alone means time to reflect, read, write, and be truly comfortable in silence. Finally being alone last night gave me a chance to really think. I got to thinking about the difference between being selfish and preserving yourself.
For instance, if I agree to go out with a friend but all I really want to do is lay on the couch bundled up in a blanket when the time comes to go, am I selfish for flaking? If I’m dating a guy and I make him happy but he’s not making me happy, am I selfish for moving on? The answer is no. Putting your happiness first on your priority list is not wrong, it’s survival. 
Now I’ve been both the “too nice” person who gives too many chances and gets taken advantage of, and the selfish b*tch that only cares about herself and doesn’t even consider any one else’s feelings or life problems. Both left me unhappy. However, there is a difference between selfishness and protecting your happiness. To break it down, since we all know what being selfish looks like, I asked myself this: What does it take to preserve oneself? 

1.Don’t be a people pleaser. This is unhealthy for two reasons, 1) it’s unrealistic. You will never be able to please everyone. 2) It causes you to neglect you and your needs.
2. Know yourself. You have to know what you want out of life, and more importantly know your true feelings and needs. Also be honest with yourself, if you really want/ don’t want something act accordingly. Reflect on/write about/release those things that are “too painful” or “shameful” to think about. Don’t harbor negativity let it go. 
3. Love yourself. Don’t beat yourself up! You are human you don’t know everything, you will make mistakes and you will have bad days. Self sabotaging because of a bad situation will only make the situation last longer than it needs to.
4. Take care of yourself. Exercise, groom yourself, take vitamins, have a healthy diet, keep yourself and your living space clean, read, have fun, and GET SOME SLEEP. You are your responsibility no one can do this for you. 
 I wrote this post for myself more than anything. I needed to remember that taking care of me is what I’m supposed to do, and that I shouldn’t feel bad for doing what’s right for me. 

While I’m not saying go be selfish, a little self awareness never hurt right? Nurture yourself, never apologize for keeping yourself happy, and don’t hold yourself down by choosing to dwell in negativity.
Remember the best friend you will ever have is you! 

Love, Tasha B. 

Gaining control 

  

Just recently, I was having a strong argument discussion with my man and it left me feeling like I wanted to choke him out! I thought, “I can’t move…If I move any muscle in my body, I will scissor kick” but I didn’t truly want that. I still wanted to have an awesome weekend with my boo so I excused myself and broke down a decision: am I going to act on a temporary feeling or am I going to move on? First, I had to breathe through my frustration. While doing so, I closed my eyes for a quick meditation session and visualized myself responding with my true feelings. When I finally came back from the other room, I was clear minded and expressed exactly how I felt without going crazy…(Thank you God!) Because of that, we were jamming out all weekend without any pent up feelings. It was exactly what I needed! 

Have you ever been/ been around someone who had nothing but negative comments to share? It can totally seep into your positive energy cloud and change the mood of your day. Whenever I go through this or witness someone else going through it, I want to say, “You are spending all this time on thinking about the worst, when you could be focussed on the REAL.”  

 

So….what is the REAL?  

 

In this case, it’d be using the time you would usually take to worry to, instead, place the best possible intentions over the situation. So for those moments when negativity tries to run the show, use these tips to gain control:

 

1. Breathe: AIR IS LIFE! Before setting into your uneasy thoughts, take a few deep breaths: in through your nose and out through your mouth.

2. Meditate: It doesn’t mean you need to put on a long garb, shave bald, and sit cross legged in a temple. There are many forms of meditation. Whether it’s closing your eyes momentarily in the Starbucks line or silencing your mind to talk to The Creator, meditation (of any kind) will encourage the creation of endorphins.

3. Jam Out: Nothing destroys negativity like some good tunes. As soon as you notice pessimism peering at you, bust out your Aux cord and VIBE!

 

What helps you turn from gloomy thoughts?? We’d love to hear your strategies for escaping negativity…leave your tips in the comments section!

 

Vibrate higher. Peace.

 

Tay.